If I Were A Girl
by Perryels
Summary: If Matt was a girl… Well that's an interesting thought he'd like to ponder about.


**Because Matt has the most interesting ideas, and I needed to have more of these random, semi-sweet moments between the two.**

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**If I Were A Girl**

It was that time of year again when the scorching weather licked the streets dry, and left every corner of the city engulfed in heat. The blazing sun above the sky beat mercilessly at anyone who dared so much as to even set foot outside the safety of their probably less hot homes and dive into the inferno that is downtown L.A. And as cliché as it may sound, it was so damn hot that you could fry an egg in the middle of the road. Try eating an ice cream and it'll melt even before you're satisfied with it.

But who cares about eating ice cream or frying eggs on roads? If you're in an air-conditioned apartment, the beating heat outside is the least of your concern. And that's all thanks to the 'hard-earned' cash Mello got from the mafia. The duo was able to purchase a miracle worker that blew out cold air. Matt and Mello might not have the best apartment out there but at least it was an air-conditioned one.

While Mello was busy with the Kira case like he usually was (oh, come on. When was ever not working on that?), Matt was busy rummaging through a box which he'd found while tidying up the place. Yes. Matt liked to clean every once in a blue moon. And besides, he actually liked not living in a dump.

Inside the said box, he had hoped to find a stash of videogames, but instead he'd found the strangest collection, and apparently, not something he'd own. It was a collection of magazines – girls' magazines.

"Hey, Mels, look what I found." He called his partner's attention, taking one out from the box as he eyed it sceptically.

"What?" Mello replied, not looking up. Not even pretending to look up.

"Look!"

"Damn it, Matt! Just tell me!"

"It's a box full of girl magazines! Like magazines for girls and not of them… You get what I'm trying to say!" Matt replied, struggling to explain what kind of 'magazines' they were.

Mello scrunched his eyebrows, making an expression that almost seemed to say 'what-the-hell', but of course, knowing him, a mere expression was not enough for him to express himself. "Why the hell would you have that?"

"I don't know either!" Matt flipped the box to its side, searching for anything that might explain why he had it in the first place. And there it was, printed in black and white, marked with a stamp. "This is Linda's junk! Aw, damn it, Roger. You sent me the wrong box. There goes all my vintage games…"

It all came running back to him now. Sometime before Matt had met up with Mello, and had been living alone, he had asked Roger to send him the rest of the stuff that he wasn't able to bring with him when he left – specifically, a box full of games he owned from the first time he set foot at Wammy's to the time he bid the place goodbye.

Matt sighed dejectedly. Good bye, old school games that held every single memory of his stay in the orphanage (not that it was worth remembering, but the games were). Geez, for someone who was the manager of an organization of some of the most intelligent individuals, Roger sure was an idiot for not checking if he had sent the right box.

"Now what am I supposed to do with all of this?" Matt looked at the stack of magazines. "I can make a tower out of it…" He thought aloud, building it up. "…But then it'll hog too much space in our already tiny flat. I can sell them, but I don't think girls would wanna buy outdated magazines…"

"Matt!" Matt jolted, startled when Mello called his name.

"Yeah?"

"Would you please keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate!"

Did Mello _actually_ say the 'P' word? Ooohhh… Matt thought smugly to himself. He would've also teased Mello, but he knew not to; and besides, it was already second nature for him to quickly do as he was told. It was also less painful that way.

The gamer made his way to the couch, plopping down on it as he laid a bunch of those magazines next to him. Matt had always been a curious guy; even more when he was bored as hell – and no, he wasn't playing any games since his current addiction was on his PSP and the game console was still recharging. He grabbed a random magazine and started browsing it.

It wasn't his taste (hell, it wasn't in any 'real' man's taste), but Matt actually found the contents rather…interesting – more intriguing, really. It was like taking a peek into the many wonders of the female mind. Matt thought this to be fascinating. The complexity of the female species does not only revolve within themselves, but also in anything that relates to them.

Clothes. Friends. Boys. Shoes. Bags. Make-ups. Break-ups. Etcetera, etcetera. Matt lost track of the rest.

So simple, yet they make it so complicated. At some point, Matt felt as though he was reading everything in a different language.

But this only added to Matt's entertainment – even though a head-ache might possibly come up soon. And this was actually a learning experience. Matt learned two things: Girls are complicated and they want a lot of things.

"Hey, Mello!" Matt looked up and back at Mello.

"Hmm?"

"This magazine is like reading a Calculus book!" Matt laughed. Mello replied with the same _'hmm…'_ not even the least bit interested in whatever Matt was saying. "Well, you're no fun."

The gamer turned back and proceeded to go through more magazines. That's when a thought had suddenly formed in head.

"Hey, Mello!" Matt called again, ignoring any whines of irritation coming from the blonde. "What if I was a girl?" And then Matt imagined himself. "I'd probably wanna be like Lara Croft, y'know, brains and beauty. And she's totally badass..."

"Why are you even telling me this?"

Matt ignored Mello again. The gamer was too busy imagining a female version of himself to even come up with a reply. "I'd grow out my hair, make it long and flowy and stuff. But then I'd probably have tied all the time 'cause I don't want it to be all in my face, especially when I'm playing my games…"

"Then why don't you just shave it off if you don't want it 'all in your face'?" Mello asked, quoting Matt sarcastically, but still not diverting from his work.

"Because… That isn't the girly thing to do! I guess…" Matt finally replied.

"Right."

"Hmm… I'd also want to have a smoking body. Yeah! Like Tifa Lockhart's. She's super hot." Matt said blissfully. "Then I'd be super hot too! Awesome! And clothes! I need super sexy clothes for my super sexy body. I think skirts are cool, don't you?"

No reply from Mello this time.

"I mean, they look so cool, as in like breezy and stuff, and they seem so comfy. You can probably run around in them. No restrictions…" Matt said surely, as if he was sharing his newly gained knowledge. He flipped through a few more pages with pictures of a variety of skirts.

"The short ones look especially rad." Matt commented. "Yep. I'd be wearing a lot of those all the time. I'mma show-off my super awesome sexy legs! But I don't wanna seem like a total whore, and I don't want any perverts taking advantage of me, so leggings and stocking should do the trick. What do you think, Mello?"

Again, Mello did not reply.

"And I'm definitely keeping my stripes. And my goggles. I love my goggles. Though, I'd probably wear them around my neck, like a super cool accessory or something. Girls like accessories, don't they?"

Matt smiled in contentment. His female self turned out to be pretty damn awesome. And he was actually getting into the whole imagining thing more than he thought he would be. "I would totally date a female version of myself…"

"Matt!" Suddenly, Matt's train of thought came to a complete stop. His thought bubble had popped and everything that was in it disappeared in a puff. "Shut up!"

Matt pouted and scrunched his eyebrows, but being used to Mello's temper, he simply shrugged his aggression off.

"I should totally make a Sim version of my girl self…"

Then another thought made its way to Matt's head. He got up from the couch and made his way over to Mello in a very strange manner. His hands were on his waist, and he walked as if he was going to go off-balance from swinging his hips too much.

"Hey, Mels," Matt said, placing his arms flat over the desk to support his upper body as he brought it down so that his face would be in level with Mello's. "If I were a girl, I'd definitely make you like me. Or maybe even like-_like_ me…" He trailed off, looking at Mello with most confidence.

Mello cocked an eyebrow, but brought it down just as fast as he raised it up, as if he had been skeptic about Matt's remark. He then gave a quick glance at Matt before going back to his documents. Then without looking, he said,

"I already like-like you, you idiot." Mello stated matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You could almost hear the _'duh'_ in his tone of voice.

Matt grinned smugly.

"I know."

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**Lol. That was nowhere **_**near **_**sweet. Well, at least I tried.**


End file.
